KNOW WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE
I know we have been avoiding each other, but I just wanted to tell you, that even if we aren’t speaking to each other because of our stupid fight, I would still cry if you died. That proves I love you.
Now don’t think that just because I cried when I saw that toothpaste commercial, crying doesn’t mean anything special. I am very sensitive. I always try to respect your sensitivity too. We have always had that unspoken rule, about never mentioning things that really hurt us to the bone. When you said, in front of my family, that my blouse was too low cut and made me look slutty, that hurt. I would never go there. That blouse was MADE for my figure. Just because one of your breasts is two sizes smaller than the other, and YOU couldn’t pull it off – I respect your personal style, anyway, and I still love you.
I didn’t hold it against you, when you never returned or replaced my sea foam green cashmere sweater that you borrowed . Even after you ruined it by spilling red wine on it, I never mentioned how expensive it was, did I? You, on the other hand keep bringing up that plumb colored jacket of yours, that I borrowed right after you bought it. You know I MUST HAVE it and will NEVER return it, because it doesn’t look that good on you anyway.
A friend is described by Encarta Dictionary as: Someone who is not an enemy. That certainly leaves a wide range of who friends are. It’s a good thing there are shades of grey where allies and enemies exist. I tell my other friends, being a friend is a balancing act between the “because of” reasons, and the in spite of traits. They all say nobody can tell you anything, because you are such a huge gossip. Like you just, CAN’T keep your mouth shut! What about that time you didn’t even mention to us about your husband cheating on you? Everyone in town already knew about it. Just ask them.
To think, we made friends at work. This is the first time for me. Remember, our first meeting for a few beers after work? You really were on a fact finding mission for that promotion we were competing for. If I still believed, you should “beware the job-friend, “ Wouldn’t I be mad at you for snaking the job out from under me? I accept your tactics and still love you anyway.
So now that I’ve made the effort to make up, I need a favor. Could you either loan me the $500 I need to go on the company cruise, or put it on your credit card? You know I’m good for it, and it’s not like you don’t know where I work or anything! We can work something out for me to pay it back over time. I just don’t want to miss out on the possibility of networking the Company Executives so another promotion doesn’t get away. I know you know what I mean, and in a way, you owe me.
Your friend for life,
(Name changed to protect the Victim.)
